After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
