if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
