I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
