"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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