Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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