so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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