I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
