Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I had to cum in my sink.
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