i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
