I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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