My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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