More tranny stories later!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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