She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He better not be in your backpack
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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