you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Found your dick twin last night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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