I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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