when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize