Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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