Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
