I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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