Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
