I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
