i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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