There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
