I wanna passion pit in your ass
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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