I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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