i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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