it hurts more in the daytime
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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