if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
