Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
