We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
