I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
