wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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