How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
