I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
