oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
