I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize