Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
