What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
