I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
