he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
