Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
