she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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