Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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