I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
