i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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