All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
