I looked at my own cervix.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
