Ketchup is God's man juice
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
