the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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