Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
