You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
