One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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