She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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