he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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