I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
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Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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