Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I wish there were birth control emojis
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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