We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
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He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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