Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
