Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
