so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize