South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it's like iHOP with fire
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
