I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
