Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
