I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
